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Marriage and sexuality Communication can help make your wedding night memorable Return to articles index | Tips for lovers | Your honeymoon | Lingerie | Boudoir photography | Wedding trends Building a strong marriage
One of the core purposes of marriage is to put a public seal of approval on a couple’s sexual relations. In many religious traditions, this aspect of marriage is tightly linked to procreation and raising children. Many of the oldest wedding traditions are, in fact, based on wishes for sexual compatibility and fertility. The honeymoon – traditionally, that sweet month when couples escaped from the world’s cares together - was always explicitly meant to help husband and wife bond physically and emotionally. Ideas about marriage among 21st-century couples are far more diverse than in their parents’ or grandparents’ time. This includes widespread acceptance of couples sharing a household before they officially “tie the knot.” The most recent data from Cape Fear Wedding readers shows that 86 percent of engaged couples were living together as they planned their weddings in 2006 and 2007. Even so, the wedding night still holds a special place in couples’ imaginations. To ensure that yours remains a delightful memory, consider these suggestions. Be realistic First, above all, don’t demand too much of yourselves. By the time you have said your last good-bye and locked the bedroom door behind you, there’s a very good chance you’ll both be exhausted. You also may still be floating in a little cloud of champagne bubbles. Collapsing into bed together to sleep – and then bouncing back into each other’s arms the next morning – may be the most romantic idea of all. Don’t force love-making if you’re not up for it. For couples who already have a sexual relationship, extending the wedding night into the next morning shouldn’t be an issue. In fact, surveys show many couples don’t consider making love the first night after the wedding to be an important objective. Set your priorities. If it’s important for you to get away alone, don’t let yourself get overscheduled. For friends and relatives who may try to intrude on your time, give them a friendly but firm reminder: “Remember, this IS our wedding night.” If you take seriously the value of saving your first sexual union for after your wedding, plan for it. Pace yourself in your partying, and make your exit early enough to enjoy the rest of the evening. Most of all, talk with each other well ahead of time. Be open, and listen carefully, about your expectations – for the wedding night itself, and for the honeymoon. And, of course, for the rest of your lives together. Advice for brides
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