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Invitations and stationery Setting the tone, managing the guest list, giving thanks Return to articles index | Wording ideas | Gifts and thank-you notes | Your guest list | Budget worksheet 
The wedding invitation reflects the tastes of the bride and groom
and sets the tone for the type of wedding being planned. To guarantee
that the bride will be notified of undelivered invitations, the return
address should be printed on the envelope.A separate reception card indicates the time and place of the event. It is not appropriate to refer to the reception through a footnote on the wedding invitation itself. Response cards and printed reply envelopes are essential, especially if a meal is to be served, as they provide an accurate count of guests planning to attend. The bride and groom will need note paper for a personal, written "thank-you" for gifts received. Announcements should be mailed immediately after the ceremony to those who were not invited to the wedding. (An announcement does not require the recipient to send a gift.) Wedding programs are used used to show the order of the service, names of participants, the music and perhaps a favorite quotation from the bride and groom. Compiling a guest list is for many couples the most difficult part of their wedding plans. You should first determine the size of your wedding based upon your budget. Then generally that number is divided into thirds between the couple's friends and those of each of the two families before you ask your families for their lists. It’s much easier to start with a firm number than to ask your future in-laws to remove people from their list. Whenever possible all guests should be invited to both the wedding and the reception. If you can’t trim the list enough to stay within your budget, review your menu and other reception details. A more modest celebration may make it possible to invite more of your friends and relatives. Your wedding invitations can help set the mood and style for your wedding. You will find selections ranging from traditional designs with formal wording to contemporary design that may incorporate your own specially created message. (You may want to coordinate the color and style of your invitations to complement the color and style of attire in the wedding party.) Formal wedding invitations are usually thermographed or engraved and ordered well ahead to allow time for them to be addressed and mailed six weeks before the wedding. The most popular size is 4 1/2 by 5 1/4 inches, which fits into an envelope without folding. A larger 5 1/2 by 7 1/2 inch invitation is used for very formal weddings. When you confer with your printer, he will be able to show you various styles and appropriate wording. Remember invitations are always written in the third person. Spell everything out: The wedding date, time, all numerals and names. Abbreviations, initials and nicknames are never used except for such titles as Mr. or Mrs., Jr., Dr. or Lt. Colonel. Be sure to order enough invitations. You will need one for every married couple, each single adult guest, each attendant, and their parents (if invited), your attendants' dates (if they are single,) everyone in the groom's family and, of course, your clergyman and guest. Order extras for emergencies and keepsakes. Extra envelopes are a must. This will allow for any mistakes you may make when addressing. For beautiful hand addressing a bride may turn to a calligrapher. New digital technology offers a similar elegant look, but at lower cost. Be sure to order respnse cards (R.S.V.P.), if space is limited at the ceremony or you are planning to serve a meal. There are several types of "enclosure" cards you may wish to send. They may be used to alert guests to the ceremony. In this instance the invitation is to the reception and the enclosure is to the wedding ceremony. Reception cards limit the number of guests invited to the reception. Reception cards are sometimes used even when everyone is invited to both the ceremony and the reception, or you may say on the invitation "reception to follow at ... " Pew cards designate special seating for friends and relatives. At Home cards are a convenient way to provide others with your new name and address. Announcements are sent to those friends, relatives and associates that you would like to share your joy with, but were unable to have at your wedding. They are similar to your invitations in size, paper, and style but may come from the couple or from either of their families. For years, the standard was to hand address all envelopes in blue or black ink. (Let's face it: typewriter fonts just look tacky on such an important piece of mail.) But modern computer technology allows addresses with a calligraphic look to be printed directly on your envelopes. No stick-on labels, please! Remember, use full names, no initials. Your invitation is inserted into the inner envelope, then into your addressed envelope. Finally, be sure to order "Thank You" notes. Most important, be sure to send them as soon as possible. Advice columnists are deluged with complaints about brides who never quite get around to sending these most important expressions of gratitude. Return to articles index |
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